"You need to get out there!"

Recap on God’s Sovereignty: Part 2

For the first study in the series, I thought it was important to establish the point that God is ultimately the one who is in control of the events in our lives.  One of the anonymous questions that was asked a couple weeks back has important implications on the topic: “Singles often face numerous questions/discouraging “encouragements”… things like, “You need to get out there if you’re going to find someone,” “Get together with your closest friends and candidly ask ‘What’s wrong with me?’” or “You’re still not dating anyone?!” How does a believer trusting in the Lord for His timing rightly respond to these questions- especially when they come from other believers?”

We won’t take the time to go into too much depth in answering the entirety of this question… that will have to wait until a later study where we will talk about accountability and healthy communication. For now, the implication in this question that often gets asked by others (and us) is that somehow we are “in control.” We sometimes think that people are still single because they don’t get “out there” enough. And what does it even mean to be “out there”? Do we think they need to go on more blind dates, go to more clubs or Bible studies, or fill out one more online dating profile? If we think it’s really up to us to find someone and if we are still single… then the obvious conclusion is that we just aren’t doing a “good enough” job. If this is our thinking in life, then we are going to proceed in decision making based on what we think is best. This not only goes against all clear Biblical teaching, it will also lead to a lot of pain and unnecessary consequences.

This leads us into the topic of God’s sovereignty. It’s another one of those fancy words that describes God’s character in that He is all-powerful, self-existent, eternal, creator of all, and self-sufficient. He rules over everything. What He says goes. What He wills will come to pass. Even the outcome of our plans are directed by Him (Proverbs 19:21). Isaiah 46:10, Psalm 115:3, 135:6, and Daniel 4:35 all say that God does whatever He wants. Acknowledging God’s sovereignty without also properly understanding His other character qualities can be scary… but we are comforted that He is also faithful, kind, forgiving, loving, great, trustworthy, and good (Psalm 16:2, 34:8, 100:5, 103:8-12, 145:9). Because He is sovereign, we can truly say that God does nothing, or allows nothing, without purpose.

So, it’s not a matter of “getting out there” or taking matters into our own hands, it’s about following Him and seeking the plans He has for us. If a believer is following the Lord, they will be serving in the church, getting connected with God’s people, and loving others in community. If it’s His plan for a person to marry, He will direct that. It’s certainly not wrong to join an online dating site or to “get out there” in other ways (as long as a person is clearly following the Lord's will in purity and obedience), but if our motivation is because God just isn’t doing what we want Him to do (in the time frame we want Him to do it), we will quickly find ourselves in a situation that will have serious consequences.

What does it practically look like in a person’s life if they are not trusting God in the area of their singleness?

• Selfishness- “I deserve better…”

• Discontentment (lack of gratefulness)- “If I only had someone, then I would be happy”

• Hopelessness or depression- “I will never meet any one”

• Jealousy- “I wish I could have what they have”

• A feeling of failure- “I’m not good enough or I would have a date.”

• Anger and resentment toward God- “I’m serving Him, but He is holding out.”

• Seeing marriage as a reward for being spiritual- “If I truly love the Lord, He will give me a spouse”

• A tendency to get into relationships that they shouldn’t be in- “I probably shouldn’t date this person, but they will change”

By choosing to go our own way, we fail to experience the joy that God intends for His children. He truly does have great plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11-13)!

For a closer look at Jeremiah 29:11, take a few minutes to answer the following questions:

• What is the context of Jeremiah 29:11-13?

(29:1- who was it written to and what were they going through?)

• Why was this an encouraging message to the Israelites?

• In the midst of what was happening, how would Jeremiah 29:4 be comforting to God’s people?

• What was the Lord looking for from His people in Jeremiah’s day?

• In verse 11, how does God want to bring us “welfare” today? (read the verse in different translation)

• Although it’s true that God has good plans for us, what prevents them from taking effect? (verse 12 & 13) Do we often expect these things to happen without a commitment to change on our part?

• In verse 13, what does it look like for us to seek God with our “whole heart”?

• Read Jeremiah 29:8-9. In these verses, we see that there were people deceiving God’s people. How can we as believers, today, avoid from being led astray by false teaching?

• How else can Jeremiah 29:11-13 encourage us today?