Being Content in EVERY Circumstance

A couple weeks back, we talked about the huge topic of contentment. This, among many of the other topics we are covering in this series, could be its own 16-week study. There are so many layers to contentment, and it is certainly an area we all struggle with.

In his book, Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment, Jeremiah Burroughs defines contentment this way: “Christian contentment is that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God’s wise and fatherly disposal in every condition” (The Puritan preachers of the 17th century had a way of capturing profound concepts in single sentences!). It’s a great definition that highlights the fact that contentment brings about peace in every situation… all while trusting and submitting to God in the process.

We often don’t view discontentment as a sin, but when we look more closely, it is a lack of trust in who God is and that His plan is best in bringing about His greatest glory for our greatest good (becoming more like Christ!). William Barcley said,  "When we grumble, we don’t believe that God is in control, and we question his ability to make good on his promises. At the root, then, is a lack of faith. Our discontent questions God’s sovereignty, shows our failure to submit to his lordship, and is worthy of God’s punishment. Grumbling is great sin.” He continues, "Not only is discontent a great sin, but it also is at the root of much sin in our lives. It clearly is at the root of covetousness. A coveting spirit is a discontented spirit because it desires what God has not given to us. If we want to win the battle against a sinful, coveting spirit, then we must study contentment."

Discontentment is also failing to believe that God is the only One who can truly satisfy. Singles often struggle in this area because their focus is on the wrong things. Having a spouse, a higher paying job, owning a home, the freedom to have sex within marriage, close friends, etc… none of these things can truly satisfy because God did not create them to. In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis said,

“God made us: invented us as a man invents an engine, A car is made to run on petrol, and it would not run properly on anything else. Now God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other. That is why it is just no good asking God to make us happy in our own way without bothering about religion. God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.”

When we pursue the things listed above more than God, we make them out to be idols, only making us more discontent. And when those things get taken away, we find ourselves without hope.

In Philippians 4:11-12, Paul talks about how he learned to be content in every situation. This is one of the keys to learning to be content… contentment isn’t about a situation or circumstance, but about how one views that situation or circumstance. This is such an encouraging passage because it tells us that we can be content right here where we are at no matter what. Can you imagine if it said, “contentment can only be found by having enough money, or by being married, or by having friends who will love you at all times”? Contentment isn’t something that can only be attained outside of your control, but an attitude of submission through yielding to God’s plan for your life. Burroughs says, “The contentment of a man or woman who is rightly content does not come so much from outward arguments or from any outward help, as from the disposition of their own hearts. The disposition of their own hearts causes and brings forth this gracious contentment rather than any external thing.”

There are many encouraging passages that talk about contentment, but we will close with James 1:2-4 that says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Another key to contentment is being thankful in everything, believing that God is big enough to bring good out of the situation. Along with so many principles of God, contentment can be mysterious because His ways are not logical to our finite minds. Burroughs says, “This is the mystery of contentment, not so much by removing the evil, as by metamorphosing the evil, by changing the evil into good.” Has God ever taken a difficult circumstance in your life to bring about good? Don’t you think that He is powerful enough to do that again with whatever it is you are facing right now?

Sure, it can be difficult to be content as a single, but God is greater and He created us to be satisfied with Himself, the Author and Creator of life, who loves us and truly does have a plan and purpose in everything!

~AF

"You need to get out there!"

Recap on God’s Sovereignty: Part 2

For the first study in the series, I thought it was important to establish the point that God is ultimately the one who is in control of the events in our lives.  One of the anonymous questions that was asked a couple weeks back has important implications on the topic: “Singles often face numerous questions/discouraging “encouragements”… things like, “You need to get out there if you’re going to find someone,” “Get together with your closest friends and candidly ask ‘What’s wrong with me?’” or “You’re still not dating anyone?!” How does a believer trusting in the Lord for His timing rightly respond to these questions- especially when they come from other believers?”

We won’t take the time to go into too much depth in answering the entirety of this question… that will have to wait until a later study where we will talk about accountability and healthy communication. For now, the implication in this question that often gets asked by others (and us) is that somehow we are “in control.” We sometimes think that people are still single because they don’t get “out there” enough. And what does it even mean to be “out there”? Do we think they need to go on more blind dates, go to more clubs or Bible studies, or fill out one more online dating profile? If we think it’s really up to us to find someone and if we are still single… then the obvious conclusion is that we just aren’t doing a “good enough” job. If this is our thinking in life, then we are going to proceed in decision making based on what we think is best. This not only goes against all clear Biblical teaching, it will also lead to a lot of pain and unnecessary consequences.

This leads us into the topic of God’s sovereignty. It’s another one of those fancy words that describes God’s character in that He is all-powerful, self-existent, eternal, creator of all, and self-sufficient. He rules over everything. What He says goes. What He wills will come to pass. Even the outcome of our plans are directed by Him (Proverbs 19:21). Isaiah 46:10, Psalm 115:3, 135:6, and Daniel 4:35 all say that God does whatever He wants. Acknowledging God’s sovereignty without also properly understanding His other character qualities can be scary… but we are comforted that He is also faithful, kind, forgiving, loving, great, trustworthy, and good (Psalm 16:2, 34:8, 100:5, 103:8-12, 145:9). Because He is sovereign, we can truly say that God does nothing, or allows nothing, without purpose.

So, it’s not a matter of “getting out there” or taking matters into our own hands, it’s about following Him and seeking the plans He has for us. If a believer is following the Lord, they will be serving in the church, getting connected with God’s people, and loving others in community. If it’s His plan for a person to marry, He will direct that. It’s certainly not wrong to join an online dating site or to “get out there” in other ways (as long as a person is clearly following the Lord's will in purity and obedience), but if our motivation is because God just isn’t doing what we want Him to do (in the time frame we want Him to do it), we will quickly find ourselves in a situation that will have serious consequences.

What does it practically look like in a person’s life if they are not trusting God in the area of their singleness?

• Selfishness- “I deserve better…”

• Discontentment (lack of gratefulness)- “If I only had someone, then I would be happy”

• Hopelessness or depression- “I will never meet any one”

• Jealousy- “I wish I could have what they have”

• A feeling of failure- “I’m not good enough or I would have a date.”

• Anger and resentment toward God- “I’m serving Him, but He is holding out.”

• Seeing marriage as a reward for being spiritual- “If I truly love the Lord, He will give me a spouse”

• A tendency to get into relationships that they shouldn’t be in- “I probably shouldn’t date this person, but they will change”

By choosing to go our own way, we fail to experience the joy that God intends for His children. He truly does have great plans for us (Jeremiah 29:11-13)!

For a closer look at Jeremiah 29:11, take a few minutes to answer the following questions:

• What is the context of Jeremiah 29:11-13?

(29:1- who was it written to and what were they going through?)

• Why was this an encouraging message to the Israelites?

• In the midst of what was happening, how would Jeremiah 29:4 be comforting to God’s people?

• What was the Lord looking for from His people in Jeremiah’s day?

• In verse 11, how does God want to bring us “welfare” today? (read the verse in different translation)

• Although it’s true that God has good plans for us, what prevents them from taking effect? (verse 12 & 13) Do we often expect these things to happen without a commitment to change on our part?

• In verse 13, what does it look like for us to seek God with our “whole heart”?

• Read Jeremiah 29:8-9. In these verses, we see that there were people deceiving God’s people. How can we as believers, today, avoid from being led astray by false teaching?

• How else can Jeremiah 29:11-13 encourage us today?

“Who was Eve, without Adam?”

Recap on God’s Sovereignty: Part 1

In last week’s study, we started off with one of the questions that was asked during our intro week. I thought this would be a good question to start off with so we could potentially clear up any misunderstandings about the value and purpose of single women. After all, if a woman thinks that she is unable to fulfill God’s plan for her life without being married, she will fail to see how God wants to use her as a single. Here is the question:

“As a woman, how do I fulfill my God designed role of a “help-mate” if I never marry? Is coming under the leadership of the church enough? Eve came from Adam, so who is Eve without Adam? Is this a distortion caused by the Fall?”

We looked at Genesis 2:18 where we see how God brought the woman to the man to be a “helper.” Does this mean that all women were created by God to be men’s “helpers”, and that a woman is not fulfilling her God-created role until she finds a man to “help” (within marriage)? At first glance, this may appear to be the case… but context and the clarity of going to other Bible passages is always key in having a proper hermeneutic (just a fancy word that refers to how we interpret Scripture).

In Genesis 1:28, God commands Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and multiply” as well as to “subdue” and “rule over” the earth. Without getting into to too much detail, it’s quite obvious that Adam could not fulfill God’s command to “multiply” without Eve! Adam was incomplete without someone to complement him in fulfilling the task of filling, multiplying, and taking dominion over the earth. It points to Adam’s inadequacy, not Eve’s deficiency. Adam needed a helper to fulfill the God-given tasks in which he was given.

In the garden, we also see the first example of marriage, and in the context of marriage, the woman certainly was created to be the “helper.” Some see this as a negative thing, but God created the roles within marriage as a picture of Christ and the church (even before sin entered the world). Dr. Matthew Henry said, “Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled on by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him.” We will talk a bit more about this when we look at the roles of the man and woman in marriage, but it is important in this conversation to note that differing roles do not mean differing values. Genesis 1:26,27 tells us that man and woman were both created in God’s image. We also see this in 1 Corinthians 11:11, 12 and Galatians 3:28 that says that men and women were created equal. Their value in God’s sight is the same, but as we will see in a future study, their roles are different.

And is marriage to be more valued than singleness?  In 1 Corinthians 7:7, Paul specifically calls marriage AND singleness both gifts from God. If they are both gifts from God, they are both good and one is not to be valued above the other. If you are single, and you see that your singleness truly is a gift, you will then be free to be a good steward of that gift with an openness and desire to serve the Lord with your life.

~AF

Righteous Romance week one recap...

Last week, we started our new series called "Righteous Romance: a Biblical study in singleness, dating, and marriage" (Yup, it can be difficult to come up simple titles for complicated issues). If you missed it, here's a recap of what the study is NOT going to be about:

1) An unbalanced and unhealthy focus on dating and marriage. It’s easy for singles (and everyone!) to view romantic relationships as one of the main goals in life. Romantic relationships have been an idol throughout history that have pulled people away from the most important relationship, which is to be centered on the Lord. The purpose of this study is not to put romantic relationships on a pedestal. In this study, we will not exalt marriage above singleness, even though there is a subtle tendency in the church to do so.

2) A “how to” study that teaches how to find a spouse based on man-made formulas. It will not help you with your online dating profile or how to smoothly articulate a pickup line to land your next date. It will not be a “rules-based” approach to dating, and we will not dogmatically teach regulations that encourage legalism and empty “rule-following.”

3) A study that focuses more on what the Christian dating books teach than on what the Bible has to say. We will also try hard to avoid it becoming a study where everyone voices their own opinion and no authoritative, Biblical principles are established.

4) This study is not about making the “grey areas” into something that is black and white. No, it will not say that you have to date for 12.2 months before you have to be engaged or that giving your sweetie a goodnight kiss is ungodly. We will also not water down clear Biblical principles and avoid calling sin for what it is (sex outside of marriage, living selfishly, acting out in pride, etc).

So, what IS this study all about???

1) This study IS about giving glory to God by learning to have a closer relationship with Him. He is the focus of this study… not singleness, proper dating methods, or marriage. As we learn to trust Him more in life, we will see everything in life as an opportunity for growth. It is about glorifying God in everything we do! We often go to God wanting to learn how to do relationships better… and there’s nothing wrong with that, but often in that process, we fail to realize that everything revolves around our relationship with Him.

2) This study will seek to better understand Biblical principles as to avoid legalism and “rule following.”

3) This study is about providing an environment to where we can come and share our thoughts and questions on the various topics of discussion. We want to be sensitive to others, with the goal to edify and encourage in the ways of God by going to His Word. The study won’t be about hearing a lecture but about discussion and wrestling through some of these challenging topics together.

4) This study will hopefully provide Biblical wisdom in how to have a healthy, Christ-centered relationship if that is God’s plan for your life. It will also help to equip you in the lives of those you know who are in a romantic relationships.

5) We want this to be a study to where you can ask questions!! As you can see in the post below, there are a TON of great questions already... and I'm sure there are more. So, come with a question and we will try hard to talk about it over the course of the next 13 weeks.

On a final note, you may be thinking, "Is this study for me??" This study is for you if: 1) You are hoping to be in a relationship 2) Are currently in a relationship 3) You know of someone who is single who wants to be in a relationship 4) You know of someone who is in a relationship 5)... HA! You get the point... wherever you may be, this study will be practical and meet you where you're at (and help you encourage those around you).

We meet every Monday at 7:00pm. Hope to see you there! For location info, email: 29eleven@mvcchurch.org

~AF

Questions we will answer...

Below were some of the GREAT questions that were submitted last week at the study:

• What should a guy pursuing a girl look like? What are the guy/girl roles in this process?

• What do you do in seasons of discontentment?

• Is the sinfulness of society (that is the cultural acceptance of sex outside of marriage, etc.) something that may be affecting the ability of godly Christians to find a spouse?

• Why does it seem that there are so many more single Christian women than men?

• What are some healthy boundaries for a single person when interacting with married people and/or a married person of the opposite gender?

• What about arranged marriages?

• Is it important to be physically attracted to the person you marry?

• Should a woman initiate with a  man is she likes him? Is this godly? If so, what would it look like… or should the man be the one to initiate a relationship?

• What is the responsibility of a husband in marriage? Did something change from Genesis where it was God’s plan for marriage to Paul encouraging singleness and that not all are called to be married (1 Corinthians 7)?

• Is it wise to be in a friendship with a non-Christian you know is interested in you in hopes that maybe they would come to Christ? And if they become a believer, would it be okay to then date them?

• How far is “too far” when it comes to physical boundaries outside of marriage?

• How do you find the balance between guarding your heart, but also opening up enough to someone to have a deep, meaningful relationship?

• As a woman, how do I fulfill my God designed role as a “help-mate” if I never marry? Is coming under the leadership of the church enough? Eve came from Adam, so who is Eve without Adam? Is this a distortion caused by the Fall?

• Singles often face numerous questions/discouraging “encouragements”… things like, “You need to get out there if you’re going to find someone,” “Get together with your closest friends and candidly ask ‘What’s wrong with me?’” or “You’re still not dating anyone?!” How does a believer trusting in the Lord for His timing rightly respond to these questions- especially when they come from other believers?

Over the course of the next 13 weeks, we will be addressing every one of these questions as we get into the topics of singleness, contentment, God's sovereignty, purity, dating/courting, communication, christian community and accountability, Biblical love, and marriage. It should be a challenging study as we wrestle through what God's Word has to say!

~AF

Moving forward...

WOW! What a great study going through 30 Days to Understanding the Bible by Max Anders! By better understanding how the Bible's main themes all fit together, we were able to gain a better glimpse of God's story of redemption. It is SO easy to miss the flow of Scripture, but always good to see the "big picture" of His story throughout history (which really IS History). As we understand the main themes and storyline of God’s Word, we are then able to better understand who we are as believers today and the uniqueness of our time in history. We have His Spirit permanently living in us, empowering us to overcome sin in our lives (something Old Testament saints never imagined). No sacrificial system, no temple, no priests, no law. Today, we are free in Christ! This freedom was the result of Christ dying for us, which freed us from sin… but not, of course, to live however we desire. Freedom is having the ability to do the right thing, not to do whatever we want. The person who is overcoming sin and experiencing peace and joy is the person who is really free (freedom is only found by yielding and submitting our desires to Him). This is why Jesus came to die! Why time and time again, He rescued mankind from themselves. The common theme in each era was the stupidity of man, and the graciousness of God.

When we looked at the various eras in Scripture, we clearly saw the patience God displays toward His people. We saw His powerful, sovereign hand in events, which paved the way for what He wanted to accomplish. We also saw how He uses people to accomplish His purposes. And as His church today, God desires to use us to spread the message of hope to a lost world.

Now that we have a better understanding of the flow of the Bible, how do we engage our culture with the truths of God’s Word? This leads us into our next area of study. We will be following along with the new sermon series at Mountain View, but taking it deeper into more application and discussion. Jude encourages every believer to “contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints” (Jude 3). We will learn what it means to “contend for the faith.” We will be studying a variety of topics that will help us to better “contend” for our faith in a culture that is unbelieving (and a Christian culture that has lost sight of truth). Is God really good if He allows evil? Don’t the Scriptures have a lot of errors? If that’s the case, can we really trust the Bible? Why is the concept of Hell so important? Does God really have control over events? How does our free will fit into His sovereignty? Is Jesus really the only way to heaven? What are the key elements to the gospel? These are just a few of the many important topics we will tackle in the next study. As always, we will come from the approach of Scripture so that we know what God says on these matters!

prIde

In last week’s 29eleven study, we talked about what C.S. Lewis called “The Great Sin.” The sin of pride. Pride is a complicated sin because, more than any other, it blinds us to its presence in our lives. As pride grows, our blindness to it also grows.

Throughout God’s Word, we clearly read that God hates pride (James 4:6; Jeremiah 50:31; Proverbs 8:13). He opposes pride because He knows that, as it blinds us, it causes us to loose sight of the fact that we need Him in every area of our lives. Pride leads to self-exaltation and independence, not to a growing relationship with the Lord and others.

In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis says,

“As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.”

When we have pride in our lives, it envelopes us in a world of delusion that denies the reality that following God’s laws is the only way that leads to true freedom.

In last week’s study, we briefly covered four areas of pride that we tend to overlook.

1) Moral Superiority

This form of pride is really somewhat ironic. When we look down at others because of how good we think we are, we are really demonstrating how bad we actual are. We fall into this category when we take the moral high ground in an area and look down at others who don’t. Regular church attendance, the kinds of movies we watch or don’t watch, our language, how many missions trips we’ve been on or ministries we are a part of, how much money we give to the church… All are areas that can lead to a sense of moral superiority when pride creeps in.

In Luke 18, Jesus tells a story of a Pharisee and a Publican. The Pharisee thanked the Lord that he was righteous and upright, unlike the people he was comparing himself to. He waxed eloquent of how dedicated to the Lord he was in his giving and fasting. On the other hand, the Publican (tax collector) humbly acknowledged that he was a sinner in need of God’s grace. Jesus praised the tax collector for his humility. When we see ourselves as sinners in need of God’s grace, we will avoid the sin of moral superiority.

2) The Pride of Correct Doctrine

This is also a danger to believers, especially to those who are diligent to study God’s Word. The more we learn about the Bible, the more familiar we become with doctrine (doctrine=teaching). As we develop doctrinal convictions and gain more Bible knowledge, the temptation is to become prideful. We think we’re pretty awesome because we can explain the difference between infralapsarianism and supralapsarianism and casually use words like “hypostatic union” when teaching Sunday School to the 1st graders. This can make us feel pretty good about ourselves. C.S. Lewis said,

“Whenever we find that our religious life is making us feel that we are good- above all, that we are better than someone else, I think we may be sure that we are being acted on, not by God, but by the devil.”

To avoid this trap, it’s important to never forget Biblical soteriology and hamartiology, (whoops, pride!)… the doctrines of salvation and sin. As we remember the gospel, we will be reminded of the humility of Christ and that we were sinners saved by His grace, completely undeserving of salvation. Our correct doctrine should create a love for others, rather than a prideful, condemning spirit toward those who may not be as grounded in good theology.

3) Pride of Human Achievement

This form of pride celebrates accomplishments without seeing God in the picture. Maybe we celebrate an advanced degree in biology or a raise at work. Maybe it’s finishing a marathon or being smart enough to fix our car without a mechanic. Even though our accomplishments take hard work, it is still God who blesses the effort and controls the outcome. When diligence produces fruit, we are tempted to pat ourselves on the back by taking all the credit.

The Israelites in the wilderness were beginning to grow prideful over “their” accomplishments. Deuteronomy 8:16-18 says,

“In the wilderness He fed you manna which your fathers did not know, that He might humble you and that He might test you, to do good for you in the end. Otherwise, you may say in your heart, ‘My power and the strength of my hand made me this wealth.’ But you shall remember the LORD your God, for it is He who is giving you power to make wealth…”

Any achievement we attain is really the result of God working through us, enabling us to continue strong in diligence. When we thank God for blessing our efforts, we will grow in humility and thankfulness rather than in pride.

4) An Independent Spirit

This was the fourth and final sin that was discussed. When we are prideful, we tend to think that we can handle things on our own. We don’t seek accountability and have no desire to listen to the counsel of our spiritual authorities. As those who attend Mountain View Community Church, God has called us to submit to the Pastors who shepherd and watch over us (1 Thessalonians 5:12-13; Hebrews 13:17; Romans 13:1-7).

One of the hardest areas to listen to our Pastors is in the area of relationships… I’m not just talking about the roommate kind, but more of the romantic kind. If we desire to get into a dating relationship, it is wise to seek out the counsel of a Pastor or someone in leadership at Mountain View. This is one of God’s ways of helping us to make wise decisions. If a Pastor or mentor has a red flag with us being in a relationship (whether it’s us or the person we are interested in), it is wise to use caution. Pride will find ways to justify going against godly counsel. Over the years, I’ve seen many with an independent spirit get into a relationship against wise counsel only to end up in heartbreak and even divorce. This is no way to go! Galatians 6:7-9 talks about how we reap what we sow. The person who sows pride will reap sorrow, but the person who sows humility through the Spirit will reap life and peace.

So, in summary, pride is sin! Let’s seek the wisdom from the Lord and the insight of others to rid our lives of the subtle forms of pride. Of the four areas we discussed, which one do you struggle with the most? How can you develop humility in this area and overcome pride? Let’s take what we’ve learned and put it into action!

~AF