One way to get what you desire...

I read a post recently from a friend’s blog. She’s always been very transparent and yet continues to have a sense of humor in the midst of difficulties. Here’s what she wrote that caught my attention,

“It is hard to be 33 and single.  It's hard to watch people much younger than me get married and have kids.  It's hard to be completely content one day and be so lonely I could die the next day.  It's hard to face the reality that most likely I'm not going to get to have children. It's hard to hear all of the well meaning things that (married) people throw my way whenever I start talking about being single.  As if someone who got married when they were 23 knows anything about being single.  I hate it when people use the verse about God giving you the desire of your heart if you delight yourself in Him.  As if somehow my life is a disappointment to God, which is why I'm still single.  Or why they finally were blessed with marriage - because they figured out the key to delighting themselves in God and were subsequently blessed with the golden chalice of marriage and now they just want to encourage me to do the same thing.  I could hit those people and one of these days, I just might.  Or unfriend them on facebook. I'm good at that too.”

Have you ever heard this verse quoted in the context of singleness? Is it true that the secret of finding a spouse is delighting in God? Is that what Psalm 37:4 talks about?... getting what I want if I delight in God? Well, not quite. The verse says,

“Delight yourself in the Lord; 
And He will give you the desires of your heart.”

We like to twist this verse to the point of it being some mystical path to getting all our hopes and dreams. In reality, it’s really the opposite... well, sort of. As we delight (put first, seek, pursue) in the ways of the Lord, He changes not the circumstances into what we want, but our desires of wanting what He wants and how He directs the circumstances. We serve a God who, in spite of how we feel at times, really does want us to have joy and peace… and who doesn’t want joy and peace? In the end, as we delight in Him by giving over our desires and giving up our dreams, the Lord transforms our desires into His desires, which brings us a joy we never thought possible through submission to Him. Yea, God is pretty powerful in that way… bringing about that which we truly long for, but in a way that is opposite of how we would think. The secret of joy is in yielding, not in holding on to what we want.

John MacArthur simplifies this verse in a way that is really profound…

So, how do you get what you desire? Yield your desires over to Him, and He will give you what you long for. Once you are following the Lord in humility, submission, and obedience (and that is key!), do whatever you want! :-) As you do what He wants, He changes your desires so that what you want is what He wants, too. Crazy!

~AF

Being Content in EVERY Circumstance

A couple weeks back, we talked about the huge topic of contentment. This, among many of the other topics we are covering in this series, could be its own 16-week study. There are so many layers to contentment, and it is certainly an area we all struggle with.

In his book, Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment, Jeremiah Burroughs defines contentment this way: “Christian contentment is that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God’s wise and fatherly disposal in every condition” (The Puritan preachers of the 17th century had a way of capturing profound concepts in single sentences!). It’s a great definition that highlights the fact that contentment brings about peace in every situation… all while trusting and submitting to God in the process.

We often don’t view discontentment as a sin, but when we look more closely, it is a lack of trust in who God is and that His plan is best in bringing about His greatest glory for our greatest good (becoming more like Christ!). William Barcley said,  "When we grumble, we don’t believe that God is in control, and we question his ability to make good on his promises. At the root, then, is a lack of faith. Our discontent questions God’s sovereignty, shows our failure to submit to his lordship, and is worthy of God’s punishment. Grumbling is great sin.” He continues, "Not only is discontent a great sin, but it also is at the root of much sin in our lives. It clearly is at the root of covetousness. A coveting spirit is a discontented spirit because it desires what God has not given to us. If we want to win the battle against a sinful, coveting spirit, then we must study contentment."

Discontentment is also failing to believe that God is the only One who can truly satisfy. Singles often struggle in this area because their focus is on the wrong things. Having a spouse, a higher paying job, owning a home, the freedom to have sex within marriage, close friends, etc… none of these things can truly satisfy because God did not create them to. In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis said,

“God made us: invented us as a man invents an engine, A car is made to run on petrol, and it would not run properly on anything else. Now God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other. That is why it is just no good asking God to make us happy in our own way without bothering about religion. God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.”

When we pursue the things listed above more than God, we make them out to be idols, only making us more discontent. And when those things get taken away, we find ourselves without hope.

In Philippians 4:11-12, Paul talks about how he learned to be content in every situation. This is one of the keys to learning to be content… contentment isn’t about a situation or circumstance, but about how one views that situation or circumstance. This is such an encouraging passage because it tells us that we can be content right here where we are at no matter what. Can you imagine if it said, “contentment can only be found by having enough money, or by being married, or by having friends who will love you at all times”? Contentment isn’t something that can only be attained outside of your control, but an attitude of submission through yielding to God’s plan for your life. Burroughs says, “The contentment of a man or woman who is rightly content does not come so much from outward arguments or from any outward help, as from the disposition of their own hearts. The disposition of their own hearts causes and brings forth this gracious contentment rather than any external thing.”

There are many encouraging passages that talk about contentment, but we will close with James 1:2-4 that says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Another key to contentment is being thankful in everything, believing that God is big enough to bring good out of the situation. Along with so many principles of God, contentment can be mysterious because His ways are not logical to our finite minds. Burroughs says, “This is the mystery of contentment, not so much by removing the evil, as by metamorphosing the evil, by changing the evil into good.” Has God ever taken a difficult circumstance in your life to bring about good? Don’t you think that He is powerful enough to do that again with whatever it is you are facing right now?

Sure, it can be difficult to be content as a single, but God is greater and He created us to be satisfied with Himself, the Author and Creator of life, who loves us and truly does have a plan and purpose in everything!

~AF