Me, Myself and I

In Philippians 2:3-4, Paul writes, “ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Continuing through the book, Respectable Sins, by Jerry Bridges, we discussed the topic of selfishness. When we let it take root in our lives, it acts as a vine, creeping up and around the base of our Christian life, threatening the fruit a healthy life might bear.

As Christians, can we miss the mark in the area of selfishness? You bet. It’s easy to do. Selfishness is rooted deeply in our sin-nature (see Romans 7:17-20) and in the author’s words, “Selfishness is a difficult sin to expose because it is so easy to see in someone else, but so difficult to recognize in ourselves. In addition, there are degrees of selfishness as well as degrees of subtlety in expressing it.”

Self-absorption isn’t just about not sharing, inconsiderate behavior, or irresponsible stewardship of time and money, it’s about allowing ourselves to get caught up in ourselves, instead of eternal things—Christ’s goodness, our calling, our fellow believers, the lost. The bi-product of this “me-centered mindset” is an attitude that our time is ours to spend, as is our money. Our interests and goals revolve solely around meeting our own needs.

To apply an already well-used analogy, our faith is as a sapling we look after, devote time to, nurture and feed. We hope it bears fruit; we expect it to and anticipate it. We use fruit as a measure of its growth, but our calling to care for the tree is not based on the fruit alone, but obedience to the calling. A selfless life is one that remains devoted to the cause outside of our own interests, feelings and circumstances.

Matthew 16:24 reads, “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?’”

Sovereignty over Singleness?

It really wasn't that long ago, but when I think back, it seems like it was ages ago. A lot can change in the course of three years!

The house I had purchased became the ultimate bachelor pad. Late night Rock Band parties (complete with a ginormous stage equipped with neon lights and a smoke machine), a 65" 1080 HD TV, and a hot tub (that was accompanied by friendly yellow rubber duckies that never quite learned how to swim). The hang-out house was given the nick-name, "Casa de Florea." It was great! My two roommates and I were three happy bachelor dudes with not a care in the world. Well, other than figuring out who was going to clean up the dirty dishes from the night before.

Two of the three bachelor dudes met girls. Then the girls became girlfriends who became serious girlfriends (you see where this is going?). These serious girlfriends became fiancees who became wives. As my two roomies progressed in their relationships with these girls, I continued to remain quite single. One of the roommates got married and moved out... to be replaced by another great guy. This guy met a girl whom he started to date... and I'm sure you can guess the rest. Yup, I had 3 roommates over the course of about a year and a half who moved into Casa de Florea completely single and available to walking down the aisle saying "I do" in record-braking time. What it was about my house, I have no idea, but all I do know was that I was, once again, betrayed by a fellow bachelor dude-roommate to go live with a member of the opposite sex. The joke around town was quickly spreading, "If you want to get married, move into Alex's house! HA!" Many guys came running for miles to live with me in hopes they, too, could meet the woman of their dreams and live happily ever after. There I was... in my early 30's, single, and all alone. *cue the sad violin music*

Why do I share this depressing story with you? It's because last week in our Monday evening Bible study, we talked about the subtle sin of discontentment. We discussed how discontentment is a restless longing for better circumstances. It's dissatisfaction or thinking that something is just not enough. We can easily struggle with discontentment as it relates to a difficult job, finances that are tight, or physical features about ourselves we don't like. In my situation, it was easy to fall into the sin of discontentment by looking at my situation and questioning God's plan for my life. When I was at home hanging out with my roomies and their lady friends, subtle (and dangerous) thoughts would often come to mind... "you'll never get married." "You've missed your chance." "You'll never be happy like they are." A wrong perspective feeds lies and ungodly thinking, which quickly leads to discontentment and wishing our circumstances were different.

In our study, I read a quote that said, "God does nothing, or allows nothing, without purpose." But is this really true? What about earthquakes and tsunamis? What about when I make a bad decision and suffer the consequences? What about when everyone around me is getting married and I still long for my life-long companion? The Biblical answer is an emphatic YES! Everything God does AND allows has a purpose. We discussed verses that talk of God's sovereignty... that He is all-powerful and does as He pleases for His own glory (Prov. 16:9; 16:33, Prov. 21:1, Psalm 115:3, Is. 46:9,10, Daniel 4:35). Nothing can thwart or stop His ultimate plan. Not the weather, not an unforeseen accident, not even sin that we commit. Isn't that a comforting thought? Not even our sin can stop God from accomplishing His ultimate plan. That does not mean we can live however we desire and expect things to go well for us. God still calls us to obedience, but even when our sin enters the picture, God can take that situation and use it in our lives for good.

In the realm of singleness, it's most often not the result of sin in our lives (although that can sometimes factor in). A lot of times, it's just that, well... we're single! God has allowed our circumstances for a reason. We may not know all the answers to our questions, but we can be assured that the Lord is a good God and that He is in control. We can only find true contentment and peace when we yield to God's sovereignty and accept that He has purpose in circumstances that seem hopeless.

As I learned how to better trust the Lord, I found great joy in my singleness... even in the midst of my closest pals getting married. It's not our circumstance but our perspective that leads to freedom. And often times, as we learn what God is teaching us in the midst of those hard times, He then works in ways we did not see coming. In my case, He brought a beautiful woman into my life who is now my wife ("Casa de Florea" is now "Florea la Chateau"). Being married or having what we think we want is not what brings contentment... it's all about developing a firm faith that God has a plan and a purpose in whatever we are going through. A quote from our study said, “It is SO important to develop a firm belief in the sovereignty, wisdom, and goodness of God in ALL the circumstances of our lives.” When we accept this, we move from an attitude of victim to an attitude of stewardship. We should ask the question, “God, how can I use this circumstance to serve and glorify You?”

~AF

Thanks or No Thanks?

Last time we gathered, we discussed the topic of unthankfulness as covered in the book, Respectable Sins.

Cyrus explained that we don’t become saints by our actions, but are made saints, by the supernatural equipping of the Holy Spirit. Considering that, we are to conduct ourselves in a manner becoming of saints .

So when it comes to unthankfulness, do we live our lives like the cleansed leper mentioned Luke 17:11-19, who returned to Jesus, praising and thanking him?

Well, we ought to. Our condition as sinners apart from Christ was far more dyer than the leper. Romans 5:6 reads, “You see at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.”

Now that’s something worth getting excited about.

Not only are we to be thankful for our salvation, but also our material possessions, opportunities to grow as believers and for God’s investment in us.

Thes. 5:18 reads, “Give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

If we get trapped in the, “nasty now” of life, forgetting all we have to be thankful for, we run the risk of living a life apart of the hope we have. A complaining, pessimistic, down, gloomy, “half empty” and whiny testimony says what to the world about Christ & Christianity? Not an accurate portrayal of the hope we have.

The truth is, the world needs to see we have been rescued from hell and every breath we take is a gift from God, because apart from him, we were surely destined for hell.

The good news is, we do not have to go it alone. That’s right, the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant, brought back from the dead, our Lord Jesus, the Great Shepherd of Sheep, who equips us with everything good thing for doing His will.

Let us be encouraged with the assurance of Romans 8:38-39 that nothing, including our circumstances can separate us from the love of God, who in all things, works for the good of those who love Him. What great promises to remember, even in the most difficult of situations. That’s something to be thankful for!