Sex: God, Gross, or a Gift?

As we continue our study of dating, sex, and purity, it is important to properly view sex as God intended. Last week, we discussed three views of sex.

Sex as “god”

The first view of sex is that it is highly esteemed as the one thing that will bring happiness to a person’s life. We certainly live in a culture where sex is idolized, and even within Christianity, marriage is exalted on a pedestal because of sex. Within Christian circles everywhere, young dating couples who are not ready for the serious of marriage rush into it. Rather than learning the fruit of the Spirit known as self-control, sex becomes the driving factor into marriage… because after all, it’s better to get married right away than fall into sexual sin, right? The world puts off marriage and indulges in sexual activity. The church rushes into marriage to have sex. Sex is often an idol for those who call themselves believers. When sex is the god controlling a person’s life, God is no longer on His throne, and pain and destruction ensue.

When sex becomes a god, it will cost a person their life... we see this clearly in Proverbs chapter 7 with the man who went after the adulteress. It reads, “With persuasive words she led him astray; she seduced him with her smooth talk. All at once he followed her like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer stepping into a noose till an arrow pierces his liver,
like a bird darting into a snare, little knowing it will cost him his life.” Although STDs can kill, this passage isn’t necessarily talking about physical death. The consequences of sin rob a person of joy, peace, and freedom. Living life under the condemnation of God’s wrath is no life at all.

It isn’t just in today’s society, sex has been idolized since creation. Many of the problems we read of in the Old Testament were the result of idolizing sex. Also, pagans around the time of the early church made it very prominent. People taught that God could be experienced through sex. They exalted the creation above the Creator. Temple prostitution was an integral component of religious ceremonies. Greek and Roman societies also had sexuality as a major element in their worship. Even Hinduism’s Karma Sutra idolizes sex by teaching that sexual pleasure is a way to experience God and develop into a more well-rounded human being. Whenever we ignore God’s view of sex and continue forward in disobedience, it is a sure tell sign that sex has become an idol.

Sex is Gross

Another common view of sex is that it is dirty. This has been a common view throughout the ages, especially among the church. When sex is not properly understood biblically, it can be corrupted by what the world has made it. The porn industry has certainly corrupted sex. Hollywood has corrupted sex. Novels have corrupted sex. If this is all a person sees, it’s easy to understand how sex could be viewed as dirty and off-limits.

Many false teachings surrounding the early church advocated that sensual pleasure was not of the Lord. Tertullian and Ambrose were said to prefer extinction of the human race than continued sexual intercourse. Chrysostom said that Adam and Eve could not have had sexual relations before sin entered the world. And Jerome threw himself into thorny bushes to overwhelm himself with pain whenever he began to desire a woman sexually. When God is viewed as a cosmic “kill joy” anything pleasurable can be seen as an enemy of God Himself.

Also, for those who have been sexually abused, seeing sex as healthy can be very difficult when overcoming the deep emotional pain that sexual sin has caused in their life. Both extremes… exalting sex as god or seeing sex as gross can lead a person into dangerous territory. That brings us to the third view of sex…

Sex is a gift!

Of all people, it is Christians that should accurately see sex for what it is: a gift from God! A very GOOD gift. He didn’t turn around one day shortly after creation, shocked and horrified by the fact that Adam and Eve were naked and having sex. He commanded them to be fruitful and multiply and the way He created that to be accomplished was through pleasurable sex. He could have made procreation as boring as sneezing (and sex isn’t just for procreation). Joshua Harris says, “Why did God delight to entrance us with smooth skin, soft breasts, firm muscles, entangled legs, and slow kisses? The answer is for our enjoyment and His glory. Because He’s very very good.”

In Hebrews 13:4, the author says that the marriage bed is to be kept pure and that those who ignore this mandate will be judged. Sexual immorality is seriousness because sex is such an amazing gift to be enjoyed only in the context of marriage. In our study, I will continue to stress the importance of sexual purity. Again, this is certainly not because God doesn’t want us to enjoy sex, it’s because He actually DOES want us to enjoy it… but under His terms. A passionate, healthy sex life shared between two people is the result of doing things God’s way. He created sex. It’s a gift HE designed!

The most sexually satisfied married couples are often the ones who were the most sexually pure before marriage. Guarding the gift of sex outside marriage will lead us to take extra precautions in our dating relationships (and in our singleness). The same patience and humility that leads a dating couple to purity is the very same patience and humility that leads a married couple to a great sex life. By believing that sex is a great gift of God to be reserved for marriage, it will motivate us to seek purity in obedience to the Lord. This mindset also helps us to answer the question, “How far is too far?” because we will be wise enough to not even open the door to temptation in a relationship. We are commanded to flee temptation, not linger in it… and the one who sees sex as a gift to be guarded and enjoyed in marriage will run like Usain Bolt in the opposite direction when temptation arises (more on that in another post).

~AF