A few weeks back, we talked about the purpose of sex. Here’s
a recap of some of the discussion…
Having a proper view of sex will help us to guard against
sexual temptation as we strive for purity. As we established early in our
study, purity is not the ultimate goal, Jesus is. Purity is a path to Jesus, an
avenue of being closer to Him. And as we become closer to Him, we will
experience true joy that can only be found in the Creator of the universe.
When we understand the purpose of sex as God designed it and
follow His plan in obedience, we will be better equipped to guard purity in our
lives. For those who will someday be married, this study will help lay a
foundation for the future. Cultivating intimacy in marriage begins now through
purity and respecting God’s boundaries as a single. It is important to remember
that God is not the enemy of pleasure, He is the Creation of it. When He says
“No” to something, He is really saying “Yes” to something much better!
Here are 5 purposes in God’s design of sex:
1) Procreation
In Genesis 1:28, God said, “Be fruitful and increase in
number…” Without sex, the human race would
quickly become extinct! Mentioned in an earlier post, God could have created
procreation as boring as a sneeze or He could have created a parthenogenetic
(asexual) human race that reproduces completely autonomously. But
because God is good, He created sex as a gift to be enjoyed with another person
in the confines of marriage…
2) Enjoyment/Pleasure
There is an entire book in the Bible dedicated to the
enjoyment of sex. Children are not mentioned in Song of Solomon… nope, not
once. Also, if God had created sex just for procreation, He would have designed
the human anatomy quite differently! In Proverbs 5, husbands are actually
commanded to enjoy the body of their wife. Yes, sex was hand-crafted by the
Lord created for the enjoyment of a husband and wife.
3) Oneness
When a man and woman marry, God joins the couple into “one”
flesh. The picture is one of permanency. It bonds two people. Sex was created
to be an agent of joining two into one. It helps to create a “glue” in a
relationship that bonds them together emotionally. Marriage is a covenant that
can be very difficult, but God’s gift of sex brings two people together emotionally, helping them to continue in their
commitment to God and each other.
This emotional
connection is so deep, it is also physical. Dr. Stephen Arterburn said, “When
a man or woman reaches sexual excitement, nerve endings release a chemical into
the brain called ‘opioid.’ ‘Opioid’ means opium-like and is a good description
of the power of this chemical. This is a wonderful thing in a committed
marriage relationship, because it helps to bond two people together and bring
joy to living together and building a relationship.”
Mark Driscoll
continues this thought, “A married couple with a free and frequent sex life
are literally bonded together as one, physically and chemically, by God’s
design. This oneness is expressed in such things as having one last name,
living in one house, sleeping in one bed, attending one church, sharing one
bank account, and worshiping one God.”
Do you see why
sexual involvement outside of marriage is SO serious? It has the power to bond two
people emotionally to the point of them continuing in sin, rather than pursuing
purity. They foolishly convince themselves that their physicality is evidence
of their love, rather than the fruit of their selfishness and lust.
4)
Protection from sin
A healthy sex
life can actually guard the married couple from falling into temptation. Paul
explains in 1 Corinthians 7 that the husband’s body is not his own and the
wife’s body is not her own… they are to lovingly seek to satisfy the other
sexually with their bodies. This helps to serve the other in guarding against sexual
or emotional temptation. Mark Driscoll says, “If one person feels sexually
denied and discouraged, it increases the temptation to wander outside the
marriage for sexual satisfaction or remain sexually pure but emotionally
bitter. But free and frequent sex within marriage helps safeguard and protect
the marriage from such sins as bitterness, adultery, pornography, and secret
masturbation.”
5) To
picture the intimate union of Christ and the church
This point
cannot be overlooked! The whole picture of marriage is to signify the
relationship of Jesus and the church (believers). Jonathan Edwards said that all of life was to serve
as visible portraits of invisible realities. The imagery of marriage is to
represent the unconditional, sacrificial, and faithful love of God for His
people (this is one reason He hates divorce. It is not an accurate picture of
His relentless love for us- study the book of Hosea). The oneness that sex
creates for the married couple is a type (or picture) of the oneness that we
have with God in Christ. Jesus lived the perfect life, taking on flesh to die
for our sins so that we could be reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5:21, Romans
5:10). Reconciliation unites us to God, creating fellowship that was once
broken by sin.
Now get this: sex in
marriage is essentially the gospel message! But let’s be cautious before we
take that thought too far… sex is not to be elevated as a god, but it is a picture of something greater. Even
Paul said this concept is difficult to understand. In Ephesians 5:32, he called
it a “profound mystery.” Jonathan Edwards also said, “Christ is united to you
by a spiritual union, so close as to be fitly represented by the union of the
wife to the husband.” The experience of sex within marriage can help one to
better grasp the depth of their spiritual union with Christ. In his book, Sex,
Dating, and Relationships, Gerald Hiestand says, “The marriage union is
not simply a legal union or a social union, a financial union or a familial
union, bur rather a union of bodies, a sharing of physical life. Through sex,
two people are joined together in the deepest and most wonderful way—so much so
that they are said to become one… sexual oneness within marriage was created by
God to serve as a foreshadowing of the spiritual oneness that would exist
between Christ and His church.”
Again, you may be wondering,
“Why all of this talk about sex… especially for a single’s group?!” Glad you
asked. ;-) As mentioned before, if we can have a healthy, biblical view of God’s gift of sex, we
will better learn to respect God’s boundaries in purity both in our private
lives and in our relationships. Our discussion of sex is not so we can focus
all of our attention on this topic. The focus should not be on the gift, but on
the gift-Giver! When we see God for who He is, we will understand and believe
that fulfillment in life can only
come by having a right relationship with Him.
~AF
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